Classification of NIT (W or otherwise) Janta

Like it has been for the past three and half years, we wait. Trembling, sweating, logging on to the archaic dusty website every one hour, looking for the word “Results” to show up among the scrolling “Management Conference” and “Ad-hoc teaching faculty recruitment”. (Ad-Hoc faculty. Seriously?) The wait is excruciating, and so is the inevitability of the tragedy which will follow once the .doc file of chemical 4/4 is opened.

I am sure the story doesn’t follow the same path for all my fellow yearmates. You can actually classify a student based on his response to the anticipation surrounding results:

1.The Chacha Chaudharis*(C.C) aka 8.0 cgpa above

Diamond comic lovers might be remembering the starmarked phrase in Chacha Chaudhari comics (C.C ka dimaag computer se bhi tez chalta hai*). So the C.Cs of a class are assured of in the worst situation, a gpa which will make them and their parents and the chachas and taaus and buas and mausis happy, and keep up their cgpa graph-hence ensuring a dream PSU/Bada party company(Microsoft, Adobe etcetera etcetera)/Ivy League MS with scholarship. These people will break into tears on finding a C on the gradesheet and an Ex is a routine affair. However, if things go bad C.C’s  “past performance” will act  as their buffer solution.(Yes I hated chemistry but giving references is sorta cool right! :D). Chacha Chowdharies can be frustrus who believe in the universal absoluteness of McCabe Smith,  bathe in cooling towers and eat off sieve trays(or plates, whatever)…………..or they can be the fundu public right out of Chetan Bhagat’s book, who takes his female around to Bake Magic, PD , Suprabha etc (Warangali Restaurants)every evening, has his daily dose of Victorian spirit after dropping off the female to the Ladies hostel sharp at 10 pm, solves hindu crossies, has memorized sowpods, loves Manchester United, knows who Warren Buffet and mick jagger are and yet just gets the marks- chits, a cooperative frustru sitting in front, or just plain edward cullen brains, no idea how but he just manages it every single time!

So my dear Chacha Chowdharies, you can snore through the results announcement, naak mein tel daal ke, there are people who will inform you of your yexcellent performyance(and with greater pleasure  if the sgpa has taken a downride!) through sms, facebook wall or just  good old indian “Baaju ke bunty ki mummy hai naa…unka bhateeja bhi padta hai warangal mein..suna hai usne college taap kia hai iss baar” means..

2.Dhobi Ke Kutte*(7.0 to 8.0 cgpa){In certain branches make it 6.5 to 8.0}

Welcome to the great Indian middle class. Or the cattle class, as our erstwhile Minister of state for external affairs observed. We are nowhere, neither ghar ke nor ghat ke*. We don’t have the resources or the skills to speak of like the C.Cs yet we aim for the skies, just like them. What results is acute frustration, depression, anger and ultimately apathy for the education system of this country. No doubt, 3 Idiots* was such a great success. It banked on the emotional Volatility of dhobi ke kutte, tied down by the wretchedness of  the boredom which technical subjects inherently possess,  the bigotry of faculty which distinctly narrows down on us, and last but not the least, a  general love for all things non academic.

So as the time of the announcement closes down, we shall all pray, and take resolutions to cut down on our frivolities next semester and putting aside time for studies. And yet again four months later, we shall engage in all unconventional manipulative ways in order to somehow just manage to maintain the dhobi ka kutta tag-by sheer manipulation, appeasement,bribery, deception,  and all things evil. What the heck! Pays off well at the end.

I cannot miss thanking Uma Xerox here, the lone xerox shop within our campus working overtime around exams to give us the xeroxes of the C.Cs of the class in time, thus ensuing uniformity in knowledge’s dissemination.

3. Mane Farak Nathi Padtu (MFNP) under 6.0 cgpa and don’t seem to care much about it!!

For people who don’t understand the much loved gujarati language, it means “I don’t care”. Or in punjabi it will become “Mainu Farak ni Painda” or in hindi “Mujhe Fara nahi padta”. The point being  MFNP remains the standard abbreviation for this category.

MFNPs are the misfits. They don’t fit in this college, the college doesn’t fit them. Like Dolly Bindra is in Big Boss! They are usually from “Gelf”, but time again desi MFNPs can be seen, although rare. The grilling life which generally desis go through before landing in this college doesn’t let them become MFNPs easily, they remain Dhobi ke kutte and yet deep in their hearts, wannabe MFNPs. MFNPs are usually identified by their prolonged absence in classes, yet they are powerful entities in the college clubs. They might be talented, in fact a good number of talents in this college are MFNPs. They give the registrar and the deans a reason to live, R.O is their mouthpiece, and in good times when american banks don’t crash and take away livelihoods, they end up getting bountifully placed. Hugely respected,despised, envied, loved and hated they experience a plethora of emotions from the other sections of  the college.  They usually make legends in the college, and by the time they reach final year, these demigods have enough fables surrounding them to make first year chicks swoon over them. MFNP girls have so far been unrecorded in the institute.

The main characteristic property of MFNPs is that they don’t give a horse’s piles affected arse’s shit about academics. As the results are being uploaded they remain unaffected. They are in their hostel rooms(yes! not a lot of them go back home in holidays. And even if given a chance they don’t. Hostel is second home.) wrapped up in their own warm greenhouse, the world made of colored hues and probable Fs a distant thought.

Apart from these categories, there are many intermittent sub categories. An entire demographic study awaits an interested anthropogist and possibly an Ig Nobel. Meanwhile, I upload this holistic study and wait for the results. Hopefully a 7 this time. A proud Dhobi ka Kutta I am 😀

Disclaimer:

This is purely a general observation and based on qualitative analysis of the sample space comprising of present and previous final years. Results involved advanced statistical calculations  but as a matter of space constraint, detailed conclusions cannot be and therefore will not be released. 😛

References:

*Chacha CHaudhary-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chacha_Chaudhary

*Dhobi Ka Kutta – This is a hindi proverb. The word “ghaat” is referred to a place usually meant to indicate a set of steps descending to a river/lake/pond/water body. ghaats were meant to be the public places where people used to take bath/wash cloth/do other chore for which they needed water. This proverb is used  refer to the situation where a person is among many things but no way out. In case a washerman doesn’t have a donkey and uses a dog for the work meant for a donkey, his dog will be a candidate for this phrase. In brief, a donkey belongs to a ghaat, and a dog belongs to a house. But a dog, if his master is a washerman, neither belongs to a ghaat nor toa house (ghar).

*3 Idiotshttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/3_Idiots

Hello world!

Lets do some Gapshap…One sided gapshap of course..

I have lots to talk about, my life is so colorful and vivid composed of such versatile moments and emotions, its impossible for me to contain everything within. I need to share, and laugh and cry about it..I live in a place called Warangal, a small town in the southern state of India, Andhra Pradesh. My world for the good 8 months of the year is made of this campus, beautiful yet scary, lovable yet cruel campus, National Institute of Technology. One of the best engineering colleges of India, right after the IITs, we the students have to deal with issues of our own.

Our daily life can be made into sitcoms and soaps. I see romantic comedies, thrillers, action movies right out of our lives. I see  Phoebes, Ted Mosbies, JDies, and  rare Gregory Houses here all the time. Ekta Kapoor style serials too unfold in the ladies hostel once in a while….This college is a ecosystem, with elaborate food chains and cycles. On the top is sitting our cruel director(dictator?) with the bunch of old gentlemen he calls the “Administrative body” and together they play snakes and ladders with our lives. The action is palpable, fascinatingly unfolding everyday for the past 50 years. A documentation was missing…

There has been the long chicken soup series which has touched lives across the world of many people in many ways. This is my chicken soup,  cooked desi style tadka maar ke for the NIT students and it might strike a chord with every student who is stuck in a weird campus but yet loves it…

I will bring in regular courses of the soup in for you to savor. For vegetarians, I don’t have an option though 🙂